Holiday Weight & Working Out

Doctor's ScaleHoliday Weight. I have it. The extra pounds aren’t helping my self-esteem. Over the holidays, I consumed sugar, sugar, sugar. I discovered Candy Cane Hershey’s Kisses, which are white chocolate with candy cane pieces mixed in. Omg so good!!! I’m not even a fan of white chocolate! I ate an entire family-size bag (nearly 20 oz.) in about 3 days. Maybe less.

This is in addition to Christmas cookies — my husband baked gingerbread men and my mother-in-law made sugar cookies. In the days before we visited my family-in-law, I ate gingerbread men for lunch.

Working Out. I don’t do it. And of course, this is the solution. When I was playing hockey, I went to the gym like a fiend: 3x/week every week. I ran on the treadmill from 45 minutes to an hour, and felt like a rock star! I went in the late morning when most people were at work, so I wouldn’t have to deal with a crowd because I was (and am) self-conscious. On the days I didn’t go, I did mat pilates from a DVD, at home. I know from personal experience that exercise can alleviate depression.

When I stopped playing hockey because of an injury, I quit going to the gym. I’ve tried to go a few times since then, but never stuck with it. Even if there wasn’t a crowd, I felt too anxious to go, and blew it off.

I’ve tried playing hockey again in the past couple of years, but not as a goalie — I’m not as agile physically nor mentally, and definitely not as flexible as I once was. Then I sprained my ankle badly while skating for fun, and have been anxious about getting on the ice.

We bought a treadmill, which helped because then I didn’t have to go to the gym. It was particularly useful when I was actively trying to lose weight, but because of the tendinitis in my knees, my primary care physician said not to run. Walking was ok. Once I lost most of the weight, I stopped using the treadmill.

I mostly sit on my a$$ all day, and would like to start walking briskly for 20 minutes 3x/week on the treadmill. Something (anxiety?) is stopping me. I think it’s because I have/need a highly structured routine, especially in the morning, and I just don’t know where to insert those 20 minutes. I also lack the motivation because of depression.

And right now, my doctor suspects that I have tendinitis in my right hip because walking has been incredibly painful for the past month. Until I get an X-ray done (soon), he said not to walk too much. I can walk the dog around the block, but I’m not supposed to take walks, which I don’t do, anyway. I know I need to exercise. I’ll figure something out. At least my diet’s back to being fairly healthy.

Do you find it difficult to work out? Does your mental illness keep you from doing it, or is it just something you aren’t into? Does having extra weight affect your self-worth?

Photo credit: wader on Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

13 thoughts on “Holiday Weight & Working Out

  1. Bog, I can relate to most of that, not hockey, no way in hell! I am having trouble getting back into exercising. I have hip and knee problems. I find a stationary bike (orr eal bicycle if you have one) is easier on the hips and knees, not tehs ame pressure as walking, running. We need a good reason to want to lose weight besides just for ourselves to be happy. For some reason, our self is notr eason enough. Maybe if you have a wedding to go to, grad night, reunion. I haven’t got a reason right now. I have been trying to et motivated to exercise since jan. 1st.

    1. My doctor recommended a stationary bike years ago (it’s now broken), but I just couldn’t get into it as much as running. I also couldn’t read while using it, which I can do when walking on the treadmill lol!

      I think you’re right about needing a reason to want to lose weight. I’ve been avoiding events because of the depression and anxiety. I need my health to be a motivator, but it’s so hard right now.

      No hockey??? You live in Canada, 😜

  2. I am living unhealthiest life right now. no walks no workouts and stuffing carbs. I know this is so wrong. I hope I find some motivation.
    on the other hand I have been on steroid so I had heartbeat issue. couldn’t walk a lot my heart would start racing abnormally. my doctor told me to start from 10 minutes on slow pace. increase the steps and pace very gradually. at least after 2 weeks.
    I didn’t listen to him but he made sense.

    1. Yes, that does make sense. It’s hard when you’re already not motivated, and then some physical health arises that makes it even harder to exercise. I hope your heart is okay. And, I guess, baby steps ❤️

  3. Ugh I hear you. The dreadful holiday pudge!!! It is difficult to exercise in general, but add in mental illnesses and hypothyroidism (me), it’s extremely difficult. So, I get it. However, I refuse to go into a bought of depression or mania over it. I do what I can, when I can.

  4. Yes weight gain effects my self esteem!!! More than I’d like to admit. I have gained a healthy 25 due to medication and work out? What’s that?!?!? Sounds like our situations are similar. I too was active and routine when I danced, ages 6-21, but ever since, not at all.

    1. It does sound like we have similar situations. It bothers me that my weight is tied to my self-worth. I’m trying to accept myself as I am, but it’s hard!

      1. Extremely hard! My father used to point out if I gained 5 pounds. It is hard to break unhealthy views of yourself.

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