Death in the Family; Back on Sun., 2/25/18

Photo on VisualHunt

Unfortunately, there’s been a death in the family, so we have to go out of town for the funeral. I’ve only been to 2 funerals in my life, both of which I barely remember because they were years ago. One was for an elderly relative on my side, who I wasn’t particularly close to; the other was for an elderly relative on my husband’s side, who I was very fond of.

I don’t like funerals because, well, there are the obvious reasons. But mostly I feel encrusted — like a Medieval goblet covered in jewels — with a coating of awkwardness. I don’t know how to behave on these occasions. For my relative’s funeral, I didn’t feel a sense of loss, and I’m afraid that makes me heartless. For my husband’s relative, I felt sad, and cried a little bit both because of the sadness and because it seemed obligatory. You’re supposed to cry at funerals, right?

This funeral is for an elderly relative of my husband’s, who I met once — maybe twice. It’s safe to say I don’t know her. My husband is sad; I don’t feel anything, which makes me feel like a bad person.

To be honest, I don’t want to leave town again, just after we returned. I’m afraid this also makes me a bad person, but it’s how I feel. I guess all I can do is be here for my husband.

We’re leaving tomorrow and should be back Saturday. Once again, I won’t be around the blogosphere much until Sunday. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. <3

Do funerals make you uncomfortable?

via Daily Prompt: Encrusted

14 thoughts on “Death in the Family; Back on Sun., 2/25/18

  1. Funerals are sometimes deceptive in a way. People show up to support other members of the family, which is important, doesnt mean you have to be or pretend to be sad, if you weren’t close to the person that passed. Just express your condolences, you are sorry for their loss. I’m sure this one is i portant to your husband, like you said, you should be there for his sake. It doesn’t make you a bad person just because you dont feel that way. Sometimes, the saddest people are the ones who cant make it but wish they could. Truth, the only place you see most of your relatives at one time is at a funeral. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Don’t “should” on yourself!

    1. Thank you! You’re right about being there to support others—I hadn’t thought of that—too busy thinking about my own feelings lol! I really needed to hear these words. Thanks again ❤️

      1. My husband is so good at pointing things out to me. So etimes he reminds me, “It’s not always about you ya know!” Thing is, with anxiety it is always about us until we have a reason to think otherwise. This funeral is for your husband’s sake. These days people are more about smiling and remembering good things and looking at nice photos, rather than being sad and gloomy. I use to think that was strange, but I kind of get it now

  2. I’m sorry for your loss. I hate funerals, not that anyone actually likes them. Lol. But I know what you mean, I feel so awkward and because of my anxiety, I’ve skipped out on a few which I know upsets some.

  3. I’m sorry to hear you have to leave your safe space again. I know how uncomfortable that can be and to add to it, it is for a funeral. I personally do not do them. I have gone to three and that is enough for me. I am selfish and wouldn’t attend for someone else either… but of course I’m not married. I think it is kind of you to attend in support but as far as feeling obligated, I wouldn’t. I will miss you, again!

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