When I was at Behavioral Hospital, there was a group therapy in which the therapist gave us a list of negative names we have been called, and then a positive way of reframing it. We had to read the ones we circled out loud. For example: I’ve been called finicky, but really I’m a gourmet and have discerning tastes.
Sure, there were names on that list that I’ve been called, but the 2 names I’ve been called most, by my mother, weren’t on there. They were ugly, and an embarrassment. The therapist wanted me to reframe them myself, which was difficult. I came up with: I’ve been called an embarrassment, but really I know how to live my own life. And: I’ve been called ugly, but really I’m beautiful.
I found the latter hard to believe. My mom criticized my appearance so much, that when people tell me I’m beautiful, or cute, or whatever, I feel so uncomfortable. I don’t want to contradict them, but the compliments make my stomach churn.
One day I’ll get over this, I hope, and be able to accept compliments graciously.
What makes your stomach churn?