The Future Funeral

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Photo credit: Glendale Lapastora (1) on Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA

I hadn’t heard news this morning about whether my grandma made it through the night. Thankfully. I’ll still mourn her — especially because I made the abrupt choice to stay here, and work on my mental health. I was trying to convince myself of this, and then realized how much time I’ve spent in both a hospital and a PHP in March & now April; I don’t want to stay in another one.

Plus, it’s not like we’re just flying somewhere within the US — this is a MASSIVELY LONG trip! On the way to PHP today, my husband asked me who I would be there to see, my grandma or my family? “Grandma,” I grumbled.

My husband suggested that we go later this year, when the trip wouldn’t be all hurry–hurry-hurry. He pointed out my physical problems (something going on with my left ear), and my sense of equilibrium. I already have appointments to see my Primary Care Physician, and Optometrist. Oh, right. There’s something going on with my vision, and if I try to tell anyone, they might seriously think I’m psychotic. These were part of planning for the trip, though I needed to see those doctors, anyway.

Relatives might ask where I am. Others might think I’m disrespectful for not being there. If I was there, I can only imagine the deluge of questions. Why’s your hair that color? Do you think you’re still a kid? What is [this] PHP? Or maybe no one would ask any questions at all.

So easy to make this about myself. I just don’t want them to think I’m being disrespectful.

If you missed the funeral of an elevated family member, would your relatives consider you disrespectful?


Daily Prompt: Abrupt

4 thoughts on “The Future Funeral

  1. I’ve actually never been to a funeral. When each of my paternal grandparents died my dad flew back east for their funerals, but there was no talk of my mom, my brother, or me going. Maybe funerals aren’t such a bit thing in my family, or maybe my parents were just cheap. Probably some of both.

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    1. I know, see? They can be really petty. And what about my bipolar? My dad will probably be like, “Why do you have to tell people that?” “Those people” being family outside our inner circle—my dad and all his siblings and their kids/grandkids/spouses all live in the same city in the U.S. Hay, anak ko! Lol

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