As of yesterday, I am officially done with the partial hospitalization program/intensive outpatient program (PHP/IOP) I went to for approximately 7 weeks. Though I completed all of the paperwork, I wasn’t actually discharged — I discharged myself.
I made the decision to discontinue going to Group about a week ago, though I’d been wanting to leave since May. I couldn’t stand the format, and I felt that I was being badgered by the therapists. If I missed a day, for example, they would call me — sometimes several times — to persuade me to come in. It was intrusive. I just wanted them to leave me alone. Even after I told them (via phone) that I was leaving the program, they urged me to go to Group several times.
I won’t deny that I got better while in PHP (and my one week of IOP). It kept me busy. I had someplace to go every day, even if I didn’t like it. And I did learn skills that will help me during times of distress. It was just a bad fit.
Now that I’ve got all this free time, I have to find other things to do so I don’t sit around at home all day. To start, I’m thinking a yoga class on Mondays and martial arts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’m terrified of going to these classes, but I have to for my well-being.