I Have No Friends in Real Life

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

It’s true. I have many online friends on Facebook, Instagram, and WordPress, and that includes some of the people I’ve met in real life, people from my past. I rarely–if ever–see any of the “real life” friends in person. It’s largely my fault because of the damn anxiety. I may not be depressed right now, but my anxiety is worse than ever.

I’m afraid to leave my house alone, but I’m okay if I’m with my husband. I no longer drive because I’m afraid of panicking while driving. It’s happened before, and it was not fun. I’m afraid to take public transportation because what if I get lost? What if I miss my stop? These last 2 fears mean that my husband has to drive me everywhere I want or need to go.

I don’t walk anywhere in the neighborhood because I’m afraid of being attacked. Never mind that the area where I live is safe. I can’t throw out the trash because I’m afraid the back door will close behind me and I’ll be locked out–even if I have keys with me. I’m afraid of interacting with strangers (e.g. cashiers, food delivery people) because I’m positive I’ll get tongue-tied and look like a fool and/or panic, or be that person in the checkout line who’s taking too long to pay. I’m sure there’s more, but these are the ones I can think of at the moment.

Needless to say, these things keep me from forming and/or rekindling offline friendships. They hinder my social life. I don’t really have one. I’m home a lot. I’m trying more and more to meet old friends for lunch, not dinner, because I’m afraid of being out after 4:00 pm, unless again, I’m with my husband.

I’m thinking about looking into exposure therapy because this stuff has been going on for years, and I’m sick of it.


Do you have anxiety? Does it hinder your life? Have you tried exposure therapy?

Author:

I hold an MFA in poetry from The Ohio State University. I'm a fiction writer, blogger, wife, pet mom, and Ohio State Buckeye!

22 thoughts on “I Have No Friends in Real Life

  1. I don’t either. I figure I’ll meet some when I’m ready. Probably never. LOL. Just kidding. I hope your anxiety gets better. Public transportation will make anyone nervous. Do you have a GPS? I bought one and that helped my “getting lost” anxiety so much. Maybe that will help?

    1. A GPS is a great idea! I’ll have to use it when I finally get the nerve to take public transportation! 😀 I think part of the reason I don’t have friends is because I’m not so great at setting boundaries, and because of that maybe this or that person will want too much from me and then I get overwhelmed, and then I isolate.

        1. Funny thing is that I just now figured it out — the part about feeling overwhelmed lol. I don’t know much about GPSes, so thanks for the info!

          1. You’re welcome 🙂 Self-discovery is a process-as I just learned from my recent manic episode. As long as we learn valuable things about ourselves-we can overcome the things that bother us the most 🙂 Take care!

                  1. You’re welcome. I can have anxiety when somewhere new and although my anxiety does not completely go, it’s nice to have this to hand as well as paper street maps as a back up. I found my Garmin app helped me on a particular journey once, knowing I was near, in preparation for knowing where to get off the bus.

  2. Hey Barb, always remember Rome wasn’t built in a day – the reality is from beauty to ruins it took 700 hundred years, ok, you don’t have 700 years and who would want that .. but as Saumya Agrawal says ‘ take baby steps’ Also the idea of a GPS from Star Girl New Beginnings is a brilliant concept, you know you can download an app for your phone?

    1. Yes, you’re right—I definitely don’t have 700 years! Baby steps are a part of my life right now, and I believe I already have a GPS app on my phone. I just need to use it! 🌻❤️🌷

      1. There we go then Barb – first baby step out of the way you have the GPS app – woot woot 🙂

        But, l do know what you mean when you write that – getting lost is ‘just’ one of the variables, for me it was just people on the damn bus to begin with, no people and l could have got on and off without a problem! It always comes down to people.

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