My relationship with food is unhealthy. What I eat is dictated by my emotions. They decide what I’ll eat, how much I eat, when to eat, and why to eat. I eat when I’m bored, happy, sad. I’m so used to having something to soothe or reward me when I’m not feeling right or when I’m ecstatic. Now that I’m working on making my relationship with food healthy, I’m trying to keep emotions separate from food.
I don’t have an eating disorder, though I do occasionally binge (without purging), particularly when I’m having a craving for something sweet. (For me it’s all about sweets.) I can’t get enough; I can’t stop even if I want to, even though I’m full. I just keep shoving food down my throat. And then another emotion kicks in: guilt. A lot of times I continue to eat even more when I’m feeling guilty, and next thing I know, the entire package is devoured.
I’m working on not eating because of my emotions. If I’m bored, I might do something I like, like crocheting or reading to keep from feeling bored and wanting to eat. If I’m happy, I reward myself with something besides food, like new shoes — anything that has nothing to do with food. If I’m sad, I might use a bath bomb and simply soak.
Food is neither “good” nor “bad.” You can eat whatever you want, as long as you do it with moderation. I learned this from the weight-loss program I’m undertaking.