Current Mental Health – July 2019

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Hi, all! Here’s the past month’s rundown on my mental health/life.

Mood has improved over the past month, and is certainly much better than it was in June. My husband asked me if I’m at 100%, but I’m not sure. I don’t, however, feel that I’m falling into a depression, so that’s good.

Sleep has improved, thanks to the higher dose of trazodone that my psychiatrist put me on. It’s only a 25mg increase, but it’s doing the trick. I still wake up once or twice in the middle of the night, but I’m able to fall back asleep immediately instead of being wide awake. The only problem is that I’m still really tired when I wake up, and end up falling asleep for 2 more hours. Hopefully, as I get used to this increase, that tiredness will go away.

I got a new, smaller, more compact pill organizer. Each day’s organizer has 4 compartments, and so did my old one, but this one can be confusing. Instead of taking the Dinner medication at dinner, I took the Bedtime medication, which includes my trazodone! I didn’t even figure it out until bed time! No wonder I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open around dinner time lol!! 😂🤣😂

I turned 50! We spent a long weekend in Madison, Wisconsin for my birthday. I thought I would dread turning 50, but I actually looked forward to it. It’s like now, the second half of my life is beginning. I can, hopefully, forget/let go of the past.

Briefly tempted to jump off the balcony in Madison. Wasn’t at all having suicidal thoughts prior to stepping out on the balcony, nor when the thought of jumping struck me. Can anyone relate?

Showering is getting easier. I may actually start showering every other day, with the goal of showering every day. Hey, we all need goals, right?

How was your July? Please share!

6 thoughts on “Current Mental Health – July 2019

  1. I’m glad you had a good birthday weekend!
    I occasionally get random suicide-related thoughts popping out of nowhere. It’s a weird feeling.

  2. I definitely also have “step off the balcony” moments; I imagine myself abruptly turning my car on the highway and crashing it, or else an array of other weird deaths I don’t actually want for myself. Trazodone was a GOD SEND for me before I was switched to Seroquel. You will get used to the grogginess, hopefully sooner rather than later! Glad your mood is improving as well, and happy birthday! xox

    1. Those moments are weird and can be unnerving. I will stick with the trazodone, and hopefully time will help. Thanks for the birthday wishes!!

  3. So happy to hear you are feeling much better as well as getting a good nights sleep. I’m at the highest dosage one can take of Trazadone, 300 mg. amongst several other medications to help me sleep. The tiredness should wear off over time.
    I’m so happy you had a lovely birthday and I love your attitude towards “Experiencing the other half of your life” Nice way to view it.
    Stepping off a balcony moment, Yes, I still encounter those moments every so often when I see the railroad tracks. (Funny, I just mentioned this on Ashley’s site) Not that I would act on it, but the thoughts of what I planned to do when I was suicidal are still there. I guess it’s something we will live with for the rest of our lives. Just the mere thought of us (ones that had suicidal ideation) will always have that in the back of our minds because we were so close to giving up.

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