What’s written on these signs is what I have to remind myself of constantly. I especially have trouble with the last one.
The month started out with a dog bite. I wasn’t bitten; my dog was. He and my husband were walking home when they passed an enclosure. Two other dogs were playing with their dad. Next thing you know, they were on our side of the fence. One was friendly, but the other was not. We rushed Rudy to the E.R. veterinarian where we learned it wasn’t serious and he didn’t need stitches. It was a stressful day, to say the least. Rudy’s fine now, but that was scary. All of the adrenaline really tore me up. By the time we got home and settled in, I was exhausted.
Another lovely thing that happened at the start of the month was that I nearly choked on my own vomit. It was the middle of the night, and I woke up and was heaving, but I couldn’t get anything out. I was coughing and had trouble breathing. Each time I coughed, my chest tightened up and was painful, as was my stomach, which was doing flips. Thankfully, it wasn’t an all-night thing; it subsided pretty quickly. It was scary, though.
I’ve had some concerns about whether or not I’ve fallen into a depression. Some of my red flags have appeared: trouble showering; inability to focus; worsened memory problems. I’ve been talking to my therapist and psychiatrist, the latter of whom told me to monitor my behavior/moods, and that we would revisit it before he changes — if he changes — my meds. Well, I don’t know if I’m depressed. I don’t have thoughts of death or suicide, so maybe that means it isn’t actually depression?
This whole shelter-in-place thing doesn’t help my mood. I self-isolated before coronavirus (BCV), now I self-isolate even more. What made it tolerable BCV is that I made sure to get out at least once a day, whether it’s to go to my knitting class, or see my therapist. I don’t have these things now. Maybe I should just go for a walk around the block.
Other things this month included Rudy’s Gotcha Day (the day we adopted him). He got a big cookie! And a trip my husband and I took to New Orleans, Louisiana. More on that soon!
Is the quarantine affecting your mood?