Rushing Around

Photo credit: Giant Ginkgo on / CC BY-NC-SA

I absolutely hate rushing around. For one thing, I hate to be late to — you name it — dinner, movies, appointments, everything. I get pretty anxious when it’s close to the time to leave for any of these places. And I’m a clock watcher.

I’m afraid to leave the house by myself, so my husband has to drive me everywhere. So if he’s on a conference call, which he often is (he works from home a lot), and it runs over the time limit, there’s less time to get to wherever we’re going.

Getting ready entails putting away whatever I’m doing like reading a book, crocheting, or being on my iPad or laptop, or whatever. Then I have to put on my shoes and, depending on the weather, a coat, scarf, hat, and/or gloves. Make sure my phone is in my purse, grab said purse, and go out the door. Probably it takes less than 5 minutes to do all that. But to me it feels longer.

The feeling of rushing makes me anxious. I don’t know why this is, it just is. The faster I have to move, the more likely I am to forget something (like my phone), which I perceive to be a disaster that I am able to get over. Unless I don’t.

Usually we’re on time, if not early, for things. The last time I remember rushing was when we were on our way to the movies. I was so relieved to finally sit in my seat, which, at this particular theater, was reserved.

The whole way down there I was afraid of getting into an accident because my husband was trying to get us there on time. As we got closer, I started fretting about missing the previews. (What’s going to the movies without watching the previews?)

I think my husband just wanted to get there before the movie started. I, meanwhile, declared that if it had already started, we would leave and go again another time. I didn’t want to miss ANY part of the movie (Solo: A Star Wars Story).

Fortunately, we were right on time, which was a huge relief. We even had time to go to the concessions stand. Still, I wouldn’t want to go on that or any ride like it again.

What do you think about rushing around? Are you okay with it? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?


adorable blur breed close up
Photo by on

One Tail at a Time (OTAT) is a non-profit organization that rescues dogs. I recently discovered that each year, beginning 4 years ago, they organize a sit-in for animals who need help. The cool thing about it is that you can participate remotely!!! YAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

This means the world to me because I always want to help dogs and cats. But in the past few years, since my fear of leaving the house kicked in, I haven’t been able to volunteer. Too anxious. And too afraid of making commitments. (Some of the shelters ask you to make a one-year commitment — ONE YEAR!! There’s no way I can commit to something for that long.)

By being able to do this remotely, I can FINALLY help out! I’m so excited to be able to participate! And when I realized that I would be in Las Vegas on the day of the sit-in, it turned out okay because I can do this far from Chicago!

Maybe this is tacky, but I’m going to take a chance anyway: if you would like to donate to help dogs and cats, please click here. Please consider giving. Anything is better than nothing. Thank you in advance! (DEADLINE: June 9)

What sorts of causes do you fight for?

Crochet Conquered

Photo provided by the Author

I recently took a 5-week crochet class at the local art center, which was basically like an open studio. That is, you go in, work on your project, and the instructor is there if you need help, which I did lol! What made it a class and not an open studio, I think, was that the instructor demonstrated some techniques.

Also recently, I signed up for a 2-week course on making amigurumi — cute little stuffed toys (see picture) — at the yarn store. This class overlapped the other, and I wasn’t sure if 2 concurrent classes would be too much for me. They were on different days, so it worked out. And yes, I made it through both. Hence, the title of this post!

In the time between starting this blog (August 2017) and the present, I never once made it through an entire course of anything except the online writing classes. I’d drop out at some point, or miss a majority or all of the classes. This time, I succeeded in going to each one of my classes without missing any or dropping them.

Just last night, I was exhausted and in a rotten mood, but my husband encouraged me to go to my class anyway. Crocheting helps me take my mind off things because of the concentration required. Talk about being in the present moment! I’m glad I went to class because I was able to finish my little stuffed octopus (above)! I was always too scared to even try to make these toys, but now that I know that it’s pretty easy, I’ll probably make more!

Do you miss attending a regular hobby because of anxiety or other mental health issues?

3 Things to Do Less Often

Photo credit: garycycles8 on / CC BY

The other day I posted 3 Things to Do More Often. Today I’ll examine Things to Do Less Often.

  1. APOLOGIZE: I say “I’m sorry” waaaayyyy more than I ought to, and about inconsequential things. For example, if my husband and I reach for the same item at the same time, I’ll apologize. In the car, if I don’t secure my seatbelt fast enough, the obnoxious alarm goes off, and I apologize. Out in public, if someone brushes against me and says, “Excuse me,” I apologize (and try to get over the fact that a complete stranger touched me). Well, none of these things or others like them are my fault, so why do I keep apologizing? I’m guessing it has to do with my self-esteem: it’s low. I think so little of myself that I’m willing to take the blame or claim that whatever the situation is, is my fault. I need to do this less often.
  2. PRESSURE MYSELF: I have a habit of pressuring myself to post once a day here or to my dog’s Instagram (shameless plug — follow him here! @rudy_thegoodboy). I’ll have 5 posts ready to publish in the next 5 days, but I feel that I need to write yet one more. The thought of not posting for one day makes me uneasy. Rationally, I know that I don’t have to do any of this, but in my mind it gets warped into some sort of hang-up. Not fun. I will stop pressuring myself more often.
  3. AVOIDANCE: I’m a HUGE avoider. I avoid actions/interactions because I’m scared of them. I can’t even pay for something at the check-out line without feeling anxious; I’ll step aside so my husband can pay, but he’s on to me now. I avoid answering the door when we order food and delivery arrives. The restaurants don’t always give you the total, so you only learn what it is when delivery shows up, and then I’m confused about how much to tip because I can’t do math that quickly. Plus it’s a total stranger, and you never know. I need to stop avoiding things and people.

These are just some of the habits in my life that I want to stop: apologizing needlessly; putting pressure on myself; and avoiding everyday things.

Is there anything  you need to do less often?

Book Club Fail

Photo on Visual hunt

This past Wednesday I had set aside time to go to a book club made up of dog moms. Yup, dog moms! It was the first book club I’d ever been a  part of and that I showed up for. Except I didn’t really show up.

I made it as far as a parking spot one door away from the pub where we were meeting. I couldn’t step out of the car. The anxiety was too much: what if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m weird? What if they (the women who RSVP’d) already know each other?

Then there was the pub anxiety. Although I’d already combed their menu online, I was still worried there wouldn’t be anything for me to eat (I’m a vegetarian). I rarely drink, but would I feel pressure to buy a cocktail? Are we going to ask for separate checks, or split it? How much of a tip do I need to leave?

All of these thoughts whirled through my head, as my husband (who was dropping me off) and I sat in the parking spot. My head felt warm — or maybe it was my face. My heart beat faster. I almost started crying. And ultimately, I was unable to get out of the car.

Worst of all, the dog mom in charge posted on the Facebook page just that afternoon to get a final RSVP. I said I’d be there! And I felt that it would be rude if I didn’t offer an apology, so I did — on that same post, which everyone can see.

I’d love to say that I didn’t beat myself up about this, but at least I only did it on that night. I was better the next day.

I was really looking forward to book club, and I wanted to discuss the book. Next month’s book selection has been announced, and I plan to to walk into the venue without incident. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.