Current Mental Health – September 2019

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This post is a week late. Oops.

My mental health has actually been good this past month! I’ve been really active, doing more stuff like volunteering once a week, and physical therapy (for my right shoulder) twice a week.

Sometimes I didn’t follow through on my weekend plans, usually dinner and/or a movie. Part of that is because it’s been gray and rainy. But also because a part of me just wants to stay indoors and not leave my house. I don’t think I’m depressed, and I resolve to keep all of my plans this month.

In fact, we went to a nearby apple festival this past Saturday. I’d been looking forward to it because a candy shop I frequent was selling their caramel apples there, which they only make this time of year. I don’t know what I was expecting, but the reality was bad. It was so crowded, with people shuffling in different directions all at once. I was afraid we’d get separated (we also brought our dog), or that Rudy would get into a scrap with another dog (he didn’t). We stayed maybe 15 minutes, just enough time to find the candy booth and buy some caramel apples. Thankfully, the candy booth was near an entrance so we were able to leave the crowd quickly. We may have left early, but at least we showed up — and survived — so that’s pretty good.

My sleep has improved, I’m now only waking up once a night, like around 4ish. I then move to the sofa and I’m out again til about 7 or 8am.

The shakes haven’t been resolved, but I emailed my psychiatrist today. He said he will put me on a very low dose of Klonopin to — if not make them stop, then at least continue to minimize them. I’ll still be taking propranolol for that, too. I’ll let you know if it works next month.


Do you avoid crowded events/areas? Let me know in the comments!

Working On Us, Week 9

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Photo on Visualhunt

On her blog, Beckie of Beckie’s Mental Mess has introduced a set of prompts that touches on mental illness. Each week she offers up 2 prompts for bloggers to use in a nonfiction, fiction, or poetry piece. You can respond to either prompt, or both. For more information, click here. This week, I am responding to Prompt #1.

Prompt #1 Questions:

Have you ever received music therapy as part of your treatment?  If so, what kind of music was introduced to you? I haven’t received musical therapy as part of a treatment plan, yet in my younger years, I used music to treat myself — both by listening and playing. Playing the drums, especially helped me get out my frustrations.

Do you listen to music ( if/when) you meditate?  If so, what kind of music do you listen to? Admittedly, I haven’t meditated in maybe a year? I’d like to get back to it. When I did meditate, I only listened to music if it was a part of the guided meditation, like background music.

If you have never tried music therapy as a treatment, what types of music calm and/or mellow you? Classical, except for the really dramatic overtures and symphonies.

Do you believe music helps everyone and there is really no use for therapy in this regard? Although I haven’t really listened to music in years (except in the car), I believe that music therapy is beneficial, the same as art therapy. Both let people connect with and use the creativity they might never have known they had.

Beckie, of Beckie’s Mental Mess offers up 2 mental health prompts every week as part of her “Working On Us” series. Each week, bloggers respond to either prompt (or both). This week’s topic is Music. Check it out below!

via July 31, 2019 “Working on Us” This Weeks Mental Health Prompts for Blogging Community: Week 9 Topic: Music Therapy, How Does Music Affect You?

July 31, 2019 “Working on Us” This Weeks Mental Health Prompts for Blogging Community: Week 9 Topic: Music Therapy, How Does Music Affect You?

Current Mental Health – July 2019

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Photo on Visual Hunt

Hi, all! Here’s the past month’s rundown on my mental health/life.

Mood has improved over the past month, and is certainly much better than it was in June. My husband asked me if I’m at 100%, but I’m not sure. I don’t, however, feel that I’m falling into a depression, so that’s good.

Sleep has improved, thanks to the higher dose of trazodone that my psychiatrist put me on. It’s only a 25mg increase, but it’s doing the trick. I still wake up once or twice in the middle of the night, but I’m able to fall back asleep immediately instead of being wide awake. The only problem is that I’m still really tired when I wake up, and end up falling asleep for 2 more hours. Hopefully, as I get used to this increase, that tiredness will go away.

I got a new, smaller, more compact pill organizer. Each day’s organizer has 4 compartments, and so did my old one, but this one can be confusing. Instead of taking the Dinner medication at dinner, I took the Bedtime medication, which includes my trazodone! I didn’t even figure it out until bed time! No wonder I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open around dinner time lol!! 😂🤣😂

I turned 50! We spent a long weekend in Madison, Wisconsin for my birthday. I thought I would dread turning 50, but I actually looked forward to it. It’s like now, the second half of my life is beginning. I can, hopefully, forget/let go of the past.

Briefly tempted to jump off the balcony in Madison. Wasn’t at all having suicidal thoughts prior to stepping out on the balcony, nor when the thought of jumping struck me. Can anyone relate?

Showering is getting easier. I may actually start showering every other day, with the goal of showering every day. Hey, we all need goals, right?


How was your July? Please share!

Working on Us, Week 8

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Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

On her blog, Beckie of Beckie’s Mental Mess has introduced a set of prompts that touches on mental illness. Each week she offers up 2 prompts for bloggers to use in a nonfiction, fiction, or poetry piece. You can respond to either prompt, or both. For more information, click here. This week, I am responding to Prompt 1.

It’s my pleasure to introduce this week’s topic for Week #8 “Working on Us” by

Success Stories of overcoming (an anxiety/panic attack, manic bipolar episode, whatever.)

Prompt #1  Write a narrative of what works for you when in the midst of a crisis, such as, anxiety/panic attack or a manic episode.  Please give an example of what happened, and how you broke free from it.

Example: Coping skills, talking to a family member or a friend, and/or therapy, mediations… (Just to name a few).

I’m getting better at not panicking or freaking out when something unexpected happens. For example, if I find a bug in the bathtub, and my husband isn’t home to deal with it, I just walk away without having an anxiety attack and, if not forget about it, put it in the back of my mind. Knowing that I was able to do that in a situation in which I would normally panic, I can handle it (provided that it’s a small bug, not some huge monster). I know this is a small example, but it’s what comes to mind at the moment. I can handle it.

This phrase is from the book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers. I’ve read it a couple of times because the beginning chapters give you plenty of strategies regarding fear. I’ve incorporated some of them in my life, like the 5 Truths About Fear:

  1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow!

  2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and . . . do it!

  3. The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and . . . do it!

  4. Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else!

  5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

No, I don’t always think of these when something happens, but I’m trying. As difficult as it is to do, #3 helps a lot. Curiosity trumps anxiety, I guess. And #5 is a motivator, because I don’t want to feel helpless.